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Harold Camping Has Egg on His Face Again

Christian zealot Harold Camping was wrong again. Camping first predicted the rapture would occur in September 1994. That day passed unmarked, but the voice in his head told him that on May 21, 2011, the rapture would definitely happen. According to Camping, the rapture would be followed by the complete destruction of Earth and in five months time, the unmaking of the entire universe. I will never understand Christian date setters or the sheep that follow them. They profess their blind faith in the Bible, yet they completely fail to read it.

Mark 13:32 “No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.”

Wouldn’t this passage suggest that a date setter must think that they are somehow more important than Jesus?

Acts 1:7 “It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority.”

 

Other Popular End of the World Scenarios

 

December 21 2012, The End of the Mayan Calendar

2012 Mayan pyramid.December 21, 2012 marks the end of the Mayan long count calendar and has opened the doors for speculation involving every kind of Apocalyptic situation you can imagine. Theories surrounding the Mayan calendar were inspired by Zecharia Sitchen’s book Twelfth Planet, which describes a planet called Nibiru–which is home to the Sumerian gods (Anunnaki)–that passes through our solar system every 3,600 years in an elliptical orbit. The gravitational effect of Nibiru orbiting so close to Earth is supposed to unleash catastrophic events across the world. In addition, it would bring the return of ancient alien gods who view humanity as their slaves. If this orbital cycle is correct, Nibiru should be located behind our sun right now. Within a few months time we should be able to catch a glimpse of it using NASA’s SOHO telescope–SOHO images are updated in realtime at sohowww.nascom.nasa.gov.

Mayans were an advanced solar cult and were also gifted astronomers. It is feasible that they purposely ended their calendar on a solar maximum, but in my opinion, it is unlikely that they were trying to leave any kind of doomsday prophecy.

 

Man Made EMP or Solar X-Flare

Solar X-flareOut of all of the Apocalyptic scenarios, an EMP–either caused by a large solar storm or a nuclear weapon detonated in the ionosphere–is probably the most likely. Just this year we have had  two near misses by an X-Flare and the results could have been devastating. An EMP of sufficient strength could destroy every electronic system on the planet whether they are turned on or not. The net effect on a global scale could mean the complete destruction of our power grids, which, in turn would hurtle our civilization back to the stone age for at least 4 to 10 years.

In June of 2010, the house approved bill H.R. 5026, which would have cost only 100 million dollars in order to protect the bulk of our power grid from EMP effects. However, it was later rejected by the senate in September of 2010. If that isn’t a gross oversight to our national security, I don’t know what is (see H.R. 5026 C-SPAN video).

 

Zombie Apocalypse

Jesus Christ is a zombieThis is definitely my favorite of all the possible ways to end life as we know it on this planet. Thanks to the plethora of video games and movies surrounding the subject, I know exactly how to handle myself, and it just looks like, well, good fun. The dead rise from their graves hungering for the brains of the living. But luckily, zombies are slow, stupid, and can easily be killed with a shotgun blast to the head or by bludgeoning with a heavy blunt object.

Christians should not have a problem embracing this theory since their lord and savior rose from the dead with an insatiable hunger to consume the minds of all humankind. Unfortunately, unlike their undead counterparts, this form of zombieism cannot be destroyed by any known means and will likely plague this planet until the end of the world really comes.

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